Chicks And Chainsaws

Hey guys,

I have decided to start a new blog focusing on women in horror (but not exclusively)…

Please check it out! I am also looking for contributors to this site, so if you fancy writing a review or feature then please don't hesitate to contact me!

http://chicksandchainsaws.wordpress.com

Carriers (2009)

Director: David & Alex Pastor

Country: USA

Tagline:  The rules are simple. You break them, you die...

Plot: Four young adults make their way to a beach two of them vacationed at as children during a viral pandemic, hoping for their holiday destination to be a safe haven for them and their friends.

Verdict: Carriers isn't your average outbreak movie, it is gritty and disturbing and focuses more on the relationships between the survivors rather than the virus itself. The virus is a fast acting uncurable discease that appears to literally rot the victim alive, it is very easily spread through any close contact with a carrier, although it doesn't appear to be airborn it can be spread through an infected coughing, etc. The focus of the film, as I mentioned, isn't on the disease so we are left with very little information about it, including how and when it started, how the four survivors managed to escape becoming infected and how long after the outbreak the events of the movie take place. This, however, adds to the intelligence or the film - it is very people focus, like The Walking Dead. An underrated film. 

About time!

I finally got an invite to the Metropol... Sadly, I got attacked and zombified, but I did meet this familiar figure there...

The Conjuring (2013)

Director: James Wan

Country: U.S.A.

Tagline: Look what you made me do

Plot: Based on a 'true story' recalled by paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine Warren (who also investigated the infamous Amityville house) the film retells the terrifying experiences of the Perron family's encounter with a spirit of a witch and the apparations of her subsequent victims in their Rhode Island farmhouse.

Verdict: It is rare to find a film that has some genuine scares these days. The Conjuring delivers on it's promise to be frightening. I am particularly difficult to scare, hence why I spend my time watching the so-called scariest movies of all time and writing them off as utter pants. Even I admit at jumped at the conjuring. The acting was brilliant, it couldn't be faulted (this is always important in convincing horror in the viewer) and the premise, indeed based on a true story made the tale that much more believable. If you are in the mood for something genuinely terrifying this Friday 13th and you aren't a horror hardcore, this will make your hair stand on end.

That thing that was taking up all my time...

Okay, so I just realised that I haven't posted up the ezine I was working on for months and months last year with the lovely Steve Upham, editor and owner of small press publishing house, Screaming Dreams. I had the opportunity to write majority of the content for the last edition of 'Estronomicon', the publishers sporadic online magazine. I have completely reformatted the zine, making it more of a magazine than a display of short stories. Hope you enjoy!

The Publishers Official Site: www.screamingdreams.com
Direct Link to Estronomicon: www.screamingdreams.com/ezine/LostAndFound2012.pdf

Lovely Molly (2011)

Director: Eduardo Sanchez

Country: U.S.A.

Tagline: 'Something is inside her' (can I just say, eww?! yeah, watch the film)

Plot: An orphaned former drug addict moves into her childhood home with her newly wedded husband, but it soon appears that her father never left the house...

Verdict: This film mixes elements of found footage quite effectively - recordings from 'lovely' Molly's wedding and her own recordings of her stumble into insanity. Basically, the premise isn't really very new - it becomes increasingly apparent that Molly's father was abusive, hence her subsequent drug addiction and constant teetering on the edge of normality. As the viewer, we are insure whether Molly is being raped and possessed by the spirit of her father or if her heroin use mixed with traumatic memories (previously, we assume, she had pushed from her mind as a coping mechanism) brought back up by moving into her parents' house causes a psychotic breakdown. By the end of the film, I was pretty convinced it was the former; but the lack of answers didn't add to the mystery of the film, rather, took away from there being any solid narrative. What you are left with is a bleak and depressing series of rather boring yet bloody events and a little bit of a sick feeling in your stomach.. but not in that good 'I just watched a gore-ific horror' kind of way. The film leaves you with many, many unanswered questions, such as 'How and when did Molly's husband encounter the very same woman Molly's possessed self was stalking at night with a cam-corder?', 'Am I the only one who notices these seemingly obvious plot holes?' and 'Was that a valuable waste of 2 hours?' No, it probably was not. In conclusion, this would serve better as a play to spotlight Gretchen Lodge's brilliant acting than it does as a worthy piece of horror cinema!

I know, I know...

Sorry for the lack of updates guys... you will soon be privvy to what has been taking up all of my time! (it's pretty damn exciting!)

Okay so if you haven't checked out the new comic series from Image yet, "Revival", do so. I am gutted though as all copies in my CITY, yes it is a CITY yet apparently the 3 comic book shops that reside in said city only collectively sold about 5 copies of issue 2, have SOLD OUT. If anyone could let me know of a reliable website to buy a first edition (none of these reprints please!) issue #2?!
Also, when is the next issue of "No Place Like Home" coming out? i have been waiting like 2 months now.

Enough about comics... movie wise I have not been watching as much horror as usual... I know, I am suprised too! I did, however, see an epic movie. Nay, 2 epic movies, and they shall be reviewed soon.

A little something to leave you with, as in November i am going to see Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson in concert (should be a horror-ific show), thank you Bloody Disgusting I don't think I would be half as up to date with horror related loveliness if it weren't for you...

http://bloody-disgusting.com/news/3193094/serial-killer-charles-manson-writes-letter-to-marilyn-manson/

Creepy, eh?

Grave Encounters (2011)

Director: The Vicious Brothers

Country: Canada/USA

Tagline:   They were searching for proof... they found it

Plot: A Most Haunted style TV crew venture to an abandoned psychiatric hospital and stay over night with cameras rolling.

Verdict: I am a big fan of found footage films, my personal favourite being REC (number 3 out this year!) so I thought I'd give this a go, and it was certainly full of plenty of jumps.
The concept was pretty cool, and could have been an epic found footage playing on the scary reality of a film crew trapped in a haunted house during the night with ghosts playing on their minds. However, unfortunately, the film doesn't quite fulfil it's promise. It is jumpy, yes, and the end reveal is pretty cool... in fact the whole idea behind the haunting is pretty awesome but the way it pans out and (SPOILER) the idea of them actually being trapped in a maze orchestrated by some supernatural force? Meh. That's pretty much all I can say. The exit isn't an exit anymore *yawn* would have been better off making it either a paranoia gets ugly fest or full on slasher in my humble opinion. Still, give it a watch, if you like horror which I am assuming you do because you are reading this, and like all horror watchers we are able to sit through some pretty awful shit...

DEMONS 3!

Okay so I was trailing through Bloody Disgusting and discovered that they are re-mastering and re-releasing this sites namesake film - Demons and Demons 2. PLUS, get this, there is going to be a two part comic series entitled Demons 3. Check out a 5 page preview of the comic on the Bloody Disgusting website (linked above).
Can I just say though... What the actual fuck?

Definite must read.

Frozen (2010)

Director: Adam Green

Country: USA

Tagline:  With 30 million skiers and snowboarders in the US and over 5000 chairlifts in operation, its only a matter of time before someone gets left behind

Plot: Three twenty-somethings blag their way onto a chair lift for the last ski of the day, but unluckily get left behind while mid air with a week until the resort opens again...

Verdict: I know what your thinking, with such a catchy tag line this one much be one hell of a ride (ha..) The premise is pretty horrific, being stuck on a chair lift 50(?) feet above ground in the freezing cold with no way to get down to the ground and no food... and it starts off pretty, urrr... realistic. The acting was great, which is important when the main action of the film is shot on a chairlift. However, I have some major issues with this film... Okay, so I watch zombie flicks, monster movies, etc. but somehow I find them more believable (yes, really, I said more believable). Maybe it is because I honestly believe in the idea of a rabies- like virus truning all of man kind into insane, unstoppable cannibals, or maybe it is because we have no preconceived ideas about monsters - nobody knows how they'd act if they existed. There is an element of me who believes in the possibility of the unknown (maybe not monsters exactly but I am pretty convinced my primary school was haunted by a rather obese ghost). Dispite my rather open mind, [SPOILER ALERT!] this film attempts to convince me that on a ski resort that has just been packed with teenagers/ tourists, with a rather large cafeteria and probably plenty of wasted food chucked straight into outside bins as it is going to be closed for the week, there is a pack of psychotic human eating wolves. I am no expert, but I am pretty sure that wolves would avoid this human infested resort, even if the humans have left a few hours ago. Also, if they did venture into the slopes I doubt they would pay much attention to snow-board wielding youngsters and head straight for the feast in the bins. There is just no way the wolves would be hungry enough to eat a human who is throwing things at them when they are in a vaguely inhabited area of the country with plenty of surplus food and presumably larger creatures about, such a deer. Plus, the whole intensity of the movie and the terror of being stuck without food or water (not to mention the freezing temperatures!) is horrific enough without the need for adding killer wolves, take 127 Hours for example! Okay, rant over. The movie didn't suck, but the writers should have really thought about this, as we all know the average horror/thriller consumer is not so easily fooled.

Sorority Row (Remake)

Director: Stewart Hendler

Country:  USA

Tagline:  The Sisters of Theta Pi Are Dying To Keep a Secret

Plot: A reimagining of the 1980's slasher, The House on Sorority Row. It tells the tale of a sorority prank gone wrong, resulting in the death of their 'sister', and in true slasher style an unknown killer stalks each of the girls for payback.

Verdict:  The film boasts talent like Audrina Patridge and Step Up 2 star Briana Evigan, and was nominated for two, yes TWO, Teen Choice Awards. Why? I really have no idea. This is basically a 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' sort of film, but with even less originality. The premise is weak and it totally rips off a whole list of better slasher stories such as 'Scream' (Spoiler: Another psycho boyfriend? Really? This one doesn't even have a half good reason either), an axe to the bathroom door? Can anybody say 'Here's Johnny?' not to mention the hooded killer, sorority party killings... I could really go on forever and they don't even use these blatent copy cats as a clever homage either! Give it a go if you want to see Audrina Patridge impaled by a tire iron though.

Screaming Dreams

Hello all!

Recently I have started editing and writing/designing for local publishing company Screaming Dreams. They focus on fantasy, sci-fi and of course horror, with an online magazine and various books in print so go and check them out! Hopefully I will be starting a mini comic strip for them... just need to start brainstorming! Screaming Dreams are always looking for new writer and artists to submit to their online magazine so please go ahead and give me and email at alice@screamingdreams.com

More reviews coming soon - I promise! I just haven't had much time lately, so bear with me guys! x

Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon (2008)

Director: Paul Ziller

Country:  USA/Canada

Tagline:  It kills in cold blood

Plot:  A bunch of jocks get stranded in the Himalayas near the lair of two carnivorous Yetis.

Verdict:  Wow how can this movie possibly suck? ... yes I know what you are thinking, yetis? Carnivorous yetis? Really. What makes this movie truly abominable is the terrible special effects. These yeti's can LEAP, they also got some Mike Myers mojo going on, they don't die even if you shoot them, set them on fire, skewer them on large wooden stakes and cover them in an avalanche (although, to be fair, the "avalanche" was just the equivalent amount of snow that falls off the garage roof after a heavy downfall, kudos on the use of real avalanche footage though, it made the scene truly believable). Also, the college football team don't really seem to feel the cold... they are prancing around in their little jock jackets like they are having a snowball fight in California. The rabbit they are desperate to eat, despite looking relatively well nourished, seems to look more like chicken, although rabbits may have wings, what do I know? And each person gets a relatively big chunk of the poor little critter, perhaps the animal doubled in size while cooking? The plot holes are endless, I am surprised there isn't a longer list of goofs on imdb, I guess if you listed them all you'd be there all week.

Update COMING SOON!

Okay so I have sucked at updating recently... but I promise I have been watching the good, the bad and the most damn right heinous horror movies I could find and I WILL have them all up and reviewed for your pleasure so you can then go out and proceed to find the movies (or avoid the movies) in your local Blockbuster video store (other video rental stores are available...)

One Eyed Monster

I came across this gem while browsing through the movie channels late at night, oh how I love you Horror Channel, what did I do before you existed? Obviously didn’t watch Ron Jeremy’s penis detach itself from his body and start on a murderous rampage across a remote porn film set that’s for sure, those were dark days... This film = the mutated grandchild of the thing and alien fathered by a Ron Jeremy. It is quite honestly one of the most riDICKulous (like my pun? Oh hahaha) movies I have ever laid eyes upon, and I am queen of all films stupid.

Still unconvinced? Why the fuck are you reading this blog then?

Found these beauties!!...

From my zine review....

MY Top 5 Halloween Films

All set at Halloween, of course!

5. The Nightmare Before Christmas

Tim Burton’s fantastic animated film about a pumpkin king who tires of Halloween and brings horrors to children on Christmas day is perfect for all the family to enjoy, and what better time to watch it than in the months between Halloween and Christmas Day? It has become a cult classic, and one of Burton’s most loved films, it also boasts a killer soundtrack... 

4. Donnie Darko

Richard Kelly’s debut stars Jake Gyllenhaal as an odd boy who receives visions of a creepy Giant Rabbit named Frank in the 28 days leading up to Halloween, on which day, according to Frank, the world will end. This one may take a few watches to fully understand but it remains a favourite with critics. Watch out for clips of the Evil Dead while Donnie is in the cinema, another cult horror favourite suitable for a successfully spooky Fright Night.

3. Hocus Pocus

Bette Midler stars in this Family favourite about a group of three witches mistakenly brought back to life and raising havoc on a Salem. A young Jessica Parker and a very young Thora Birch co-star in this fantastical adventure completely suitable for kids, believe me I was one on its first release! Plus, how unbelievably frickin cool is this guys make up?? (see above!)

2. Trick ‘R Treat

The Halloween horror film version of Love Actually, minus the romance... need I say more? Stars Anna Paquin of True Blood fame and is a genuinely creepy watch. Creepy kid with a sack over his head and a knife? Yeah I thought you'd be shitting your pants too.

1. Halloween

I couldn’t miss out the classic John Carpenter slasher film, the perfect end to a Halloween Horror Movie Marathon. Who knew a Captain Kirk mask could be so unbelievabley creepy?!

Coming soon!

Cinema

The 3D remake of Fright Night starring Colin Farrell was released last month, and soon to come is Guillermo del Toro’s Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, yet another horror movie remake although this one promises to be a good don’t expect it to live up to the original. Also coming soon is the unnecessary reimagining of John Carpenter’s The Thing, needless to say I will still be seeing it...

DVD

If none of the above take your fancy why not rent something a little darker this Halloween? Here’s a few DVD releases that will get your skin crawling...

John Carpenter’s The Ward

Creepy ghost story from the legendary John Carpenter, his first full length feature film for ten years.

Scream 4

The fourth instalment of the popular tongue and cheek slasher trilogy sees David Arquette and Courtney Cox reunited on screen.

Supernatural Complete Season 6

Everyone’s favourite demon hunters return for a sixth season on DVD just as season 7 airs in the USA.

Stakeland

Brilliantly bleak vampire post apocalyptic horror, definitely worth a watch.

George A Romero Presents Deadtime Stories Vol. 1

Three 30 minute horror flicks from the Zombie master himself.

Horror Hall of Fame!

While on vacation in Ontario I came across a hidden gem of a movie theatre full of all sorts of movie related memorabilia! At the back of the theatre was a monster movie hall of fame game, can you guess all the movies represented? Here are a few of my favourites!

Stake Land (2010)

Director:  Jim Mickle

Country:  USA

Tagline:  The most dangerous thing is to be alive

Plot:  America is transformed into an apocalyptic wasteland inhabited by vampires and sadistic cults. A world  Richard Matheson envisioned in his novel, I am Legend back in 1954, Stake Land is a film he would have been proud to write.

Verdict: Stake Land is not for the faint of heart, it is a truly harrowing interpretation of a world consumed by sin. The world in which Martin and Mister live is inhabited by zombie-like vampires, but they aren't even the most dangerous creatures - a cult of white supremist, sadists control much of the north of America. Stakeland isn't everybody's cup of tea, and it certainly isn't anything like the previous run of zombie apocalypse or indeed vampire flicks plastered all over the big screen. The film is a horror, a drama, and a genuinely thought provoking film with brilliant direction and a superb cast of relative unknowns (Kelly McGillis hasn't been well known since the 80's, and Danielle Harris isn't a house hold name unless you are a uber movie geek like me!)
10/10

Fright Night (1985)

Director: Tom Holland

Country:  USA

Tagline:  There are good reasons to be afraid of the dark

Plot:  Horror obsessed Charley believes his new neighbour is a vampire, thing is.. nobody believes him.

Verdict: A cult movie classic, this one has every 80's horror staple. Charley's neighbour of course turns out to be a vamp who kidnaps his girlfriend in true Dracula style, 'glamouring' her into dancing with him and then turning her into an ugly vampire creature, whose hair miraculously grows while vampified and shrinks again when Charley comes to the rescue with Van Helsing, nay Peter Vincent. Basically it is a Dracula tale without most of the sexism (it's still the 80's) and less of the accents. A fun night is to be had watching it, but not a frightening one.